15. December 2006 · Comments Off on Onion Sports: Bowl Game Gifts · Categories: Archive 2006, BCS, Bowls, Jokes, Notre Dame

I grabbed a copy of the fake news newspaper, The Onion, while in Minneapolis this week. There were some real classic articles in the Onion Sports section. Check out some lines from an Onion “Sportsgraphic”, higlighting some of the gifts that are awarded to this year’s bowl participants:

Sugar Bowl: In keeping with college-football tradition, Notre Dame and LSU will receive different gifts of equivalent value: Each Notre Dame player will receive a 2007 Saturn Sky roadster, a PlayStation 3, and a video iPod; the LSU team will receive an autographed football signed by the entire 2006 Notre Dame Squad.

Liberty Bowl: Upon satisfactory conclusion of the game, participants will be given the most precious gift of all—–liberty.

Rose Bowl: USC and Michigan players will follow trails of rose petals to their locker rooms. Upon entering the changing area, they will find the rooms lit by the flames of 1,000 red candles and filled with string-quartet music and hundreds of bouquets of roses; both teams will then slowly begin tearing up as bowl officals present them with engagement rings.

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