31. December 2014 · Comments Off on Operating Instructions for your Harbaugh · Categories: 2014


Great stuff from Matt Barrows of the Sacramento Bee (HT: JP & GN).  A snippet:

  • Your Harbaugh does not function like other head coaches. An innocuous query about the weather, for instance, could trigger a florid quote from Admiral William Halsey. And yet a routine question about a running back’s knee injury may cause your Harbaugh to wince, pause and grimace as if a malodorous scent has wafted into the room. Your Harbaugh’s default in this instance is: “We don’t really talk about that here” or “I can’t get inside his body” or “He’s working through something.” This is a design flaw our technicians in California have not yet worked out.
  • You may notice that your Harbaugh never shuts off. This is normal.
  • [this –>] There are still a few bugs in the answer-response system. For instance, you may sense – due to a long pause – that your Harbaugh has completed an answer. You will begin to ask another question. You could be two sentences into your question when your Harbaugh suddenly continues his answer to the previous question. You will feel stupid. Do not be alarmed. This is normal.

Full instructions (and warnings!) here.


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