25. August 2014 · Comments Off on Provisioning for Michigan Stadium | 2014 Style · Categories: 2014 · Tags: ,

UGP 2014

My annual post outlining your checklist before entering Michigan Stadium on Saturday.


Optional for 2014:

A. MaraWatch – Only required if you want to look cool and have everyone like & respect you.  Only then.
B. Tricked out customized adidas – Only for the true players (see A.)
C. Blow-up Doll(s) – To help fill up the empty seats around you.
D. Stick/Rope/Towel – ..to bite down on to help ease the pain if you see 98 running for his life against App St, or if TFLA remains in triple digits.

The rest:
Provisioning for Michigan Stadium

1. Radio with quality Headphones. Forget the latest incarnation of the “official” radio that sticks on your ear (do they have another one in 2014?), they are unreliable.  Bring in a radio you trust to listen to the play-by-play from Brandy and Dan Dierdorf on WTKA 1050AM. You’ll get injury reports, sideline observations, statistics and analysis of key plays that are under review (although Brandstatter always seems to think the replay will goes Michigan’s way).   You can also check out the entire pregame show and This Week in Michigan Football History as it plays.  Probably most critical: with the radio in your ears you can block out the blabber from the fool nearby who won’t shut his Twizzler hole as he belts out play-by-play and screams down to the coaching staff from row 87. 

2. M Lid. While not an absolute requirement, it certainly helps to keep that sun from beating down on you.  For those in the North end zone or east side of the field it’s critical.  Especially if you are rocking my haircut.

3. Camera. You never know who you’re going to see at the game or what live action you might catch, and the zoom on your phone won’t cut it from row 68.  If you get a priceless shot send it my way.

4. Tickets & Lanyard. Obviously you’ll need those tickets to get in but for the big games I always recommend bringing a lanyard to hold the ducats. If nothing else, it makes for easy access to display the ticket on the way back into your section.   It also provides some chest coverage if you decide to peel. (P.S.  Look closely at that ticket in the photo – recognize it?  Perhaps this will refresh your memory.)

5. Your Wallet. Where you keep your bread, Daddy-o. I don’t care how many beers and brats your jammed in your greasy skull at the tailgate, you’ll need at least a drink or two and something to eat at the game.  And hey, invest $5 (still $5?) in a game program & check out the history features and make women swoon.

6. Seat Cushion. It serves so many purposes. First, it marks your spot in the tight M stadium rows. Next, it provides some comfort to your bony butt.  Finally, it actually gives you an extra inch of torso height above the guy in front of you—seriously.  Don’t think that matters?  Try it.

7. Phone. In case something crazy happens you’ll need to call/text your crew.  And for other games, you know the updates on the M scoreboard are lackluster at best.  You’ll need your device to keep current on the big games of the day, and follow the latest tweets and Facebook blasts.  (P.S. The comedy relief on Twitter during several disasters last year saved me and others I’m certain.)  (P.P.S.  Yes, that’s a Blackberry in the photo).

8. Keys. While to afford entry into the Big House I’m guessing most now have keyless entry to their luxury sleds you still don’t want to forget your keys.  Keep them in your pocket.  And P.S. — It is still not cool to shake your keys during a “Key Play.”

9. Seeds. A personal preference but I always enjoy a few seeds to help cut the tension.

10. Shades. Similar reason as the hat. If you’re in the North or East sides of the field they are mandatory. Wear them for no other reason than to hide your pickled bloodshot peepers.


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