15. August 2007 · Comments Off on You Want These Tickets? · Categories: Archive 2007, Jokes, Tickets

Remember when Sam Malone went to sell his legendary Corvette [Cheers Season 8, Episode 5]? Mayday put an ad in the paper and conducted interviews with potential buyers to ensure that whoever took possession of his precious ‘Vette was worthy to own his righteous sled.

Occasionally M season ticket holders are forced to offer a pair or two of their little beauties to the general public. In such cases, following Sammy’s lead, it is suggested that you offer up a few questions before giving up those babies to just anyone.

M Season Tickets

Are You Worthy of These Seats?
Select the best answer(s):

1. It’s early November and the forecast calls for a mix of sleet and snow. Michigan plays Cincinnati today at home at 3:30pm. The game will be covered on ABC and you’ve got a full fridge of beer and a nice fireplace. Do you:

A. Chill out at home, light the fire, order a pie before settling in front of your wide screen to enjoy the game on ABC.
B. See how the weather shakes out closer to gametime before making the call and what to do.
C. Get your ass to the game just like any other day you Nancy boy.

2. The game is getting a little out of hand and suddenly ‘The Wave’ is summoned from the depths of the student section. When ‘The Wave’ comes around, you:

A. You can’t get enough of it
B. Could take it or leave it
C. Follow the wave around the stadium and squeak with joy when the Wave goes from hyperspeed to slo-mo (after you told everyone within earshot what was about to happen)?
D. Hope sometime before the end of the current Notre Dame contract The Wave goes Away.

3. Time is running out in the half and you strongly feel Michigan needs to use a timeout to stop the clock. You’re sitting in row 66, do you:

A. Make a small “T” formation with your hands, signaling for a timeout from your distant seat.
B. Keep quiet, mind your business of stuffing those Twizzlers into your greasy pie hole.
C. Yell ‘TIMEOUT!! TIMEOUT!!’ thinking that your voice will carry to Coach Carr above the din of 110,000 others, hoping to influence his thinking on the matter.

4. You are a bit whiskey-pickled from this morning’s tailgate. You don’t want to miss kick-off but the line to enter your section stretches seemingly for miles. Do you:

A. Look for an opening and cut midway in the line?
B. Look for a buddy and chum up to him/her somewhere in the line.
C. Suck it up, be a man and take your place at the end of the queue.
D. Grab a pizza and a soda at the refreshment stand and saunter to the front of the line, acting like you’ve already been inside you inconsiderate drunk?

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